NEW PLACE SETTING - UPDATE!

- all Gina-cologist's stuff, 'cept the $1 triangular plates i got at Homer Laughlin & the flatware...more on dems later.


i've been told that - for a straight man - i have a gay man's sense of taste. whatever...i'll cop to fussiness/wanting things 'just so'/a desire for harmony and nice things around me that reinforceprotectshieldsay"hereiam". if that qualifies - okay by me.

i just celebrated my 6th month in my house in Akron (yes, i know B's & G's...there WILL be a house warming party sometime this summer), and i must say it is coming together quite nicely. since i don't have much dough but wanted unique stuff for this place, i've been trying to buy housewares from local artists - in this case, dinnerware from Gina DeSantis.

i first met G. last summer when she was an intern at Buzz Gallery on W. 25th, and she was first choice to save me from paperplates and mismatched Ikea glassware. and along the way, i got to learn something about ceramics for which i am also grateful. also along the way, she grabbed her MFA at Kent State, worked her heiny off...yet still managed to come thru with nice stuff in a timely fashion.

Gina's blog is: http://clevelandgrl.blogspot.com//

and she will be August's Artist Of The Month at AIV@5700: http://aiv5700gallery.blogspot.com/

GO. LOOK. BUY.

FIRST MEAL!


- prime Club steaks from The West Point Market
- DeCecco (only DC @ DG!) linguine fine w/ butter & parsley
- salad-in-a-bag-poured-out-of-the-bag and splashed w/some sesame goo from Trader Joes's
- some cheapo but drinkable Aussie shiraz
- Stubb's BBQ sauce.

BUT:

i HATE THAT CRAPPY FLATWARE...five bucks for like 41 pieces at a garage sale/flimsy/Chinese plastic junk. the color works, but eeeewwwwwww...

so here's the deal - these are links to some flatware i'm considering. i could use some advise on which one looks best with the above stoneware:

(aside: The Smartest Person I Know has suggested i use hyperlinks - good advice!)

1) Copper worms


2) Fiestaware (in Shamrock green)


3) Copper Applaud


4) Odin Puttyknife


leave me a comment with your opinion. 'k?, and/or vote by number, if you wish.

FLASH! James from Holland has carefully written (bedankt!) an indepth analysis of The Problem:

Greetings, CHRIS BUTLER!

Our rating system -

Our panel of experts has looked at CHRIS BUTLER'S individual requirements for flatware and come up with the following criteria and rating system. This has been custom made for you, CHRIS BUTLER.

Style - how will it look while I'm hovering around the table preparing dinner and funneling cheap wine down my (and hopefully my date's) throat ?

Color - does it fit with my dishes? does it say CHRIS BUTLER is a man of taste, flair, creativity, and yet intellectually discontented?

Functionality - I still need to eat

Finally, in recognition of the sad fact that we spend a lot more time not eating than eating, appearance is given 2/3 if the total score, and functionality 1/3.

Scale of 1 - 5
5 = My straight flatware beats your gay flatware
4 = Don't you like my flatware?
3 = Dinner is served!
2 = Sorry about the flatware, but I stole it from my high school cafeteria.
1 = In my country we eat with our hands

And now, the contenders...

Earthworms

Style 4 (but are they earthworms?) Color 3 (warm, striped)

Functionality 4 (good handles with "You can't drop 'em" textured grip, eating surfaces intelligently designed)

Red Sails in the Sunset ( I couldn't grab the pic)

Style 4 (groovy, and the slanted red line at the top reminds me of a those slanted sashes that ambassadors from anonymous eastern european countries wore over a tuxedo with tails in old movies, but not in a bad way, and how about those mustaches?)

Color 5 (if you like eating with a fire truck (and I do), but it won't go with ketchup (which I don't eat))

Functionality 4 (spoons are too round, see danger cited below in copper)

Copperheads

Style 2 (those forks look so severe, the knife looks topheavy)

Color 4 (the word I'm getting here is BURNISHED)

Functionality 1 (handles too thin, causing hand strain and shaking halfway through second club steak, spoons too round, mouth must open too far, jaw can lock up during conversation with date, causing confusion, possible panic, and eventual departure)

Putty knives 'n' popsicle sticks, with circular background, by Dansk

Style 5 (they've got style)

Color 3 (it works with everything except that gold lamé vest you've been saving for the 10th annual Liberace spring reunion hayride and boy bounce)

Functionality 2 (handles too thin, see copperheads above for consequences, fork tines too thick to allow forking of cheap meat bought in times of privation between top 40 hits, knife is almost rectangular with apparently no sharp edges - perhaps in tribute to the (currently unemployed with guards around his house) editor of the now infamous Danish newspaper in the cartoon scandals, or perhaps in harmony with Danish economic policy that helps everyone equally without actually cutting meat, the spoons look very useful)

and now the moment you've been waiting for - the scores

Earthworms 11
Red Sails in the Sunset 13
Copperheads 7
Puttyknives 'n' popsicle sticks, with circular background, by Dansk 10

And so, our winner -

RED SAILS IN THE SUNSET

Would you care for another glass of Shiraz?

NP: "Dean Martin: The One & Only" - PBS special. anyone else love "Kiss Me, Stupid" as much as i do?

PEEVE DE JOUR: more thunderstorms. and more thunderstorms.

ROSATTI'S FLAVOR-OF-THE-DAY:

(July 3rd)

Tin Roof

cb...where are you??






SOGGY OHIO