Wednesday, April 05, 2006

bLiTzScReEd WeDnEsDaY

(image cribbed from Alpha Cat's "Pearl Harbor" - a CD you should own!)

- a smattering of the coolfun stuff i've received thru the week.

*Baker in Bearsville & Bianca Bob in Boo Bork passed on THE ROLLING STONES shilling for Rice Krispies in 1964 (sounds like a sound-alike to me, tho):

*Don Rauf is Life In A Blender's frontman/Chief Verbal Spigot:

The sap has gone from motionless to oozing bringing on that queasy feeling that spring is here. And if you must know, I am now having trouble with my dry cleaning. That golf fanatic Leary, who always has these specials on shirts, seems to have left his signature smell on my dry cleaning. And once you smell it, you smell it for the rest of the day. And it just adds to that queasy spring feeling. I have already returned these clothes once and had to muster all my powers of confrontation to tell Mr. Leary that the clothes had retained a certain unpleasant chemical smell. I had planned to be civil yet humorous in our meeting. I had planned to tell him how supportive I had been of his previous efforts that had resulted in daisy-fresh garments. As I pulled up in front of his shop, I pictured two English lords in bowlers politely tipping their brims. "I say, Leary. I admired your gait as you approached. Yes, I did. Reminded me of the noble peacock. Or a robin hopping forward. But I must share with you a funny encounter that my nose had with those clothes you attempted cleaning. Did I say 'attempted?'" How rude of me? I should have said "those clothes you laced with skin-curdling poisons? What? Did I say that? I should have stuck with the word 'attempted.' Now where were we, Leary? Oh yes, a duel. But I am afraid I have not brought a gun for you. Bit of a shame, really. What's that you, say? Sorry, I can't hear you over the horrible smell of my dry cleaning. Yes, I know it's back at the house and that's exactly my point. How fast can you run, Leary? You know in this light you look not unlike a fairly attractive female Guinnea Hen . My feelings are mixed now because I want to pull you close but I also want to see you run. Learrrry!"

The entire scene played in my head like a scene from the Lavender Hill Mob with Alec Guinness as I entered the shop and rang the bell at the counter to summons Leary. He had a big, funny ship's bell that you rang for service. He was standing directly behind the counter, but still I rang with abandon because it was a big, funny ship's bell and demanded ringing. I decided to cut to the chase. That's the exciting part of the movie. I decided I was going to use an absurd approach—just bursting with good humor. I said flat out with a smile to convey exaggeration: "If I were to imagine Donald Trump's hair on fire, it would smell like these clothes." I sniffed the clothes in front of him, and drew the corners of my mouth down toward my shoulders, and ever so slghtly, I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue. I wanted to give him that brief flash of someone dying horribly in HELL, but while keeping up a Lucille Ball-like zaniness. I think my subliminal shot of seriousness was getting through, nicely washed down with a chaser of brash wit.

Oh I'd like to tell you what happened next...but I really wrote to tell you to mark your calendars for two Life In A Blender shows:

May 2 (my birthday), Tuesday, 9 pm--Life In A Blender plays the temple of self-esteem boosting—Mo-Pitkins in the East Village. Chris Rael, with his other-worldy caterwauling, will also be playing, with Church of Betty, featuring the highly dubious Jonathan Gregg. Ed Pastorini will muddle through another "outsider-art" like set after Chris.

May 6, Sat, 10 pm—the sounds of heaven again come flapping to earth in the form of those angels Life In A Blender--at Barbes in Brooklyn. WIll Sea of Scarves be there?

*Mark Lax sent:

This show was put together by a friend of mine -- but the reason to check it out is because it's a really good show -- I've attached one of the articles from the NY Times
NP: THE VENTURES/"WIld Again" (thanks, Steve)

PEEVE DE JOUR: outsomnia = when you know you should sleep, but there are too many chores/loose ends to tie up/external BS demanding your attention.


Blogger Harvey Gold said...

Young Chris,

After reading your latest entry (by the way, in your previous post, I made note to ask what kind of additional mineral weight CAN a vintage Beetle engine sustain? No questions today about suspensions), I'm strongly considering making Don Rauf my newest hero. Of course, it goes without saying, I'll hold my own investation. But Chris, is this wise? Do I detect a bit of the Kensington fop in his treatise, or am I simply assigning a certain literary loveliness an unpleasant extension here?

Thanks for your guidance in this.

Your friend in all things,

H. Harvey

1:41 PM  
Blogger CBeezwax said...

DR is THE MAN. Life In A Blender has been one of my favorite combos since the mid '80's. their shows are hysterical and too smarty-pants for their own good. no fopitude...either implied or overt, tho he does have a pension for polyester.

Don Rauf is the Charlie Brown of rock 'n' roll.


2:19 PM  

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