Saturday, August 05, 2006


i was recently at a party, and as is so often the case when us old farts gather together these days, the conversation drifted towards health issues & current maladies. a theme emerged in the conversations - issues commonlyusedtobly known as 'woman's problems'.

from the dining room table, a woman pal observed another woman pal's odd dance taking place in the kitchen: piling her hair on top off her head/shifting her weight from foot to foot. "hot flashes," i was told..."she needs to take off her shoes."


it is strange to see woman i've known for decades - hardknock rock 'n' rollers whom i forever will image as 19-year-old Strat-wielding unstoppable Amazons/tough West Side o' Clevo art gurls/'nice' ex-wife morphing into an unreconizable shrew - going thru menopause. i mean, we know we all are old...but this is grandma shit.

i am also reminded that at least 90% of my wakingruminating life is taken up with interactions with women - divorce lawyer/accountant/GFs/ex-wife/psycho Mom/secretaries & functionaries/doctors/etc = all distaff. now, factor in the new reality of estrogen-progesterone inbalances into the ongoing, daily tryingtofigurethesewomenout, and confusion/infuriation/frustration reigns. very un-PC/un-feminist to bring this up, but...

(aside: Eve Silberbach was the star of sixth grade - cute, smart, talented. one day at a mutual friend's b-day party, she took out a baritone uke and played a few P P & M folk songs. the adults oohed-ahhed...but i - all stoneswhokinksbeatles - thought it was the lamest thing i'd ever heard...and promptly got myself a guitar and a drum set and learned how to play.

woman + encounter = life changing experience.

the first of many...

we were all slamming hard into puberty - girls first, of course - and this made for much sniggering amongst the boys. example: whenever Eve would have her period, she'd sprout this huge red zit on her forehead - christened 'The Great Red Spot' - and much mirth ensued.

...'til once i was visiting a friend who lived on Eve's street. her dad was mowing the lawn, and since it was high summer, he was in a short-sleeved shirt.

on his right arm were some crudely-tattooed blue numbers.

Nazi concentration camp numbers.

after that, it no longer seemed so funny to make fun of someone's 'marks'.)

point: i am entirely a product of my relations with women. i do have my own reasonably solid, male identity (hard won and unique since i did not want to be like my sonofabitch father or any other cretinous jockmen presentedexhalted as suitable role models), but i must completely acknowledge how my sense of self/what i do/who i am was-has been & is being shaped by the influence and interaction with les femmes...only now i have to also factor in this new & powerful & chemically-induced variable into the life equation:

woman + encounter + menopause = ?

(to be continued)

NP: "Tell That Girl To Shut Up"/Holly & The Italians

PEEVE DE JOUR: workworkwork.


(Aug. 6th)

Chocolate Malted™


Chocolate Chocolate Chip

cb...where are you?



Blogger Tim Ferris said...

Have you ever pondered why it's called meno-pause and not meno-stop?

Does it go on forever? I, too, have been formed by the women in my life, and this latest encounter with pausing and busted interior thermostats makes me feel as though I'm in the 16th inning of some strange ballgame in purgatory, or a JasonWithTheHockeyMask movie.

9:04 PM  
Blogger CBeezwax said...

i'm glad you responded. i gonna continue this discussion/blog thread because i know very few men who talk about this stuff.

i don't know the duration - it seems to be vary from individual to individual.

what i am interested in is that the men who are facing this phenom are the vets of the sexual/feminist revolution - we have different attitudes (in degrees of course) towards women in general than previous generations...and the collision of these values with our mate's/sig other's onstoppable/values bedamned hormonal firestorms is producing at the minimum a rethink of how a man is supposed to 'be' about all this.


10:26 PM  

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