Tuesday, August 08, 2006


- a continuation of a discussion about women, men, divorce & menopause begun 8/5/06:

a woman once told me that she often did not know how to react to me because i was "not like other men".

gee...ya think?

i am a 57-year-old bohemian sociopath/divorcing father/self-employed rock 'n' roll songwriter-musician since the late '70's/the few 'regular' jobs i had were fuckin'awfulvowedneveragain/'68 Chicago Democratic Convention + Woodstock attendee + May 4th at Kent State = Veteran of Domestic Wars/willing conscript in the sexual revolution/buyer-inner of the feminist ideals/New Wave band leader with a politicalsociological agenda/'wrong-righter' (when i hear the phrase 'life is unfair' i bristle because that's why we are all here = to change that.

"not like other men"? well, in my circle of NYC/Clevo men i am common as dirt...not unusual at all. at the risk of piling stereotype upon stereotype, here are some generalizations of how i/we think:

- women are smart. one would be an idiot not to listen to their views/opinions/perspectives. male dominance went out with the girdle...as independent, free-thinking individuals, women don't need to be force-fed/brow-beaten into following some male/mate/societally-dictated path. and "whatever you think is best, honey" is NOT what we are looking for. really. besides, i've got enough to do just taking care of myself.

- women are responsible individuals, and can make up their own minds about what is best for themselves. a corrollary to this is that the old transactional exchange:

"you never let me do/give me what i want"

"well, what do you want?"

"i don't know"

...does NOT cut it anymore. we want partners, not slaves.

- as a man, i can be vulnerable, cry, need mothering from time to time, express my feelings, get confused, fuck-up, BE WRONG, etc.. these are strengths, not weaknesses, and have been something countless women have wanted from their men forever. no problem/you got 'em.

- women can be feminine, romantic, sometimes dependent, sometimes want/need us to be 'cavemen' & take charge &/or chase 'em &/or 'conquer' 'em, BE WRONG, etc. again, no problem...

(aside: the above two points are gender interchangeable...so don't bother leaving a comment about that. i know.)

...but if either of the above over-generalizations are used as manipulation fodder, THAT IS UNCOOL, and violates the new rules of the new game...which is based on mutual respect.

- equal pay for equal work is so obvious that it's also a given. besides - in the USA - two incomes are required by economic realites anyway, so not bringing in as much dough as possible into the mateunit is just stoopid.

- sexual equality is also a given...but don't expect the emotional hard-wiring re: jealousy, etc. to just disappear. a corollary to this is that 'morality' is just another name for 'a pattern of human behavior that has been empirically proven over countless millenia to cause the least amount of troublecrap" = peeps is peeps, and will do what they want...but don't be shocked if things get fucked up. another way of saying this is 'two cheers for monogamy' = it may not be the best thing, but it's the best thing we've come up with.

- of course, we are 'different'...duh, but we also both need each other, so accept that as a given and get fuckin' on with it, already.

(to be continued)

NP: "I Want My Land" demo - trying to come up with a song to be included in a Canadian TV show...and i need to do this fast.

PEEVE DE JOUR: another sleepless night followed by tons to do. am exhausted.


(Aug. 8th)

Peanut Butter

cb...where are you?



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