THE GREAT RED SPOT - PART 3
- a continuation of a discussion about women, men, sex, divorce & menopause begun 8/5/06:
- from Rhonda in NYC:
A father walked into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the store reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches it in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No", the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
...
well, I actually LIKE my divorce attorney...she doesn't fit the scumballbottomfeeder stereotype of so many in that 'profession' - she's honest, fair & gets as morally appalled at the machinations of The Plaintiff's lawyer's screeching ineptitude as i do. pal DLS is also a fulltime human, too, and has gotten me thru many a bad patch the last year or so - very grateful.
of course, after i pay my attorney's bill, my kid will not be going to college/never have braces/will be wearing thrift shop clothes until he's 21. this seems to be okay with The Plaintiff, as her and her attorney seem to feel that making me out as The Worst Person That Has Ever Lived And We Must Tell The World About It is worth the cost.
i could save them the trouble - i'll cop to being TWPTHEL:
- yes, asking The Plaintiff to find some paying work in order to help with our living expenses was just such an awful thing to ask. shame on me.
- yes, offering to stake The Plaintiff's try at starting her own business (for six years) was also such an awful thing to do. shame on me again
- yes, taking The exhausted/job-hating Plaintiff on a well-deserved European vacation to visit our best friends was also also such an awful thing to do. shame on me thrice.
- etc, etc, etc.
it is very common in divorces for the parties involved to have homicidal fantasies regarding each other, but i wonder...if (hypothetically) the target was ones spouse's attorney, would a jury be less inclined to convict?
NP: THE SPRINKLE GENIES:
Ada Faerie/Mad Cow Music Video
PEEVE DE JOUR: TV repair guy cancelled AGAIN...this time claiming a case of the flu...STILL NO "DAILY/COLBERT" fix. gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........
JOIE DE JOUR: Bianca Bob's "The Bunny Channel" ("where nothing bad ever happens!) promo clips:
QUICKTIME: http://bbobfilms.com/bcweb/bctvqt/bctvqt.htm
FLASH: http://bbobfilms.com/bcweb/bctvqt/bctvqt.htm
GOTH-TUME DE JOUR:
BTW - a nice piece on Clevo's infamous Nine Of Clubs on - Lost In The '80's
N.B.A.T.W.P.:
THE LOSERS LOUNGE TRIBUTE TO TALKING HEADS
OCTOBER 5, 6 and 7
at Joe's Pub
425 Lafayette Street
between East 4th and Astor Place
A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME event! The Losers will be SPEAKING IN TONGUES, CROSS EYED AND PAINLESS and BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE, at The Losers Lounge tribute to THE TALKING HEADS. Even if this is LIFE DURING WAR TIME, please DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, and definitely plan to STAY UP LATE. Because The Losers Lounge are guaranteed to bring you NOTHING BUT FLOWERS, MORE SONGS ABOUT BUILDINGS AND FOOD and three nights (only) of THE WILD WILD LIFE!!!
BUY TICKETS HERE!
ROSATI'S FLAVOR-OF-THE-DAY:
(Sept. 22nd)
English Toffee
(Coffee Custard w/ Heath)
cb...where are you?
OHIO
- from Rhonda in NYC:
A father walked into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the store reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches it in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No", the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
...
well, I actually LIKE my divorce attorney...she doesn't fit the scumballbottomfeeder stereotype of so many in that 'profession' - she's honest, fair & gets as morally appalled at the machinations of The Plaintiff's lawyer's screeching ineptitude as i do. pal DLS is also a fulltime human, too, and has gotten me thru many a bad patch the last year or so - very grateful.
of course, after i pay my attorney's bill, my kid will not be going to college/never have braces/will be wearing thrift shop clothes until he's 21. this seems to be okay with The Plaintiff, as her and her attorney seem to feel that making me out as The Worst Person That Has Ever Lived And We Must Tell The World About It is worth the cost.
i could save them the trouble - i'll cop to being TWPTHEL:
- yes, asking The Plaintiff to find some paying work in order to help with our living expenses was just such an awful thing to ask. shame on me.
- yes, offering to stake The Plaintiff's try at starting her own business (for six years) was also such an awful thing to do. shame on me again
- yes, taking The exhausted/job-hating Plaintiff on a well-deserved European vacation to visit our best friends was also also such an awful thing to do. shame on me thrice.
- etc, etc, etc.
it is very common in divorces for the parties involved to have homicidal fantasies regarding each other, but i wonder...if (hypothetically) the target was ones spouse's attorney, would a jury be less inclined to convict?
NP: THE SPRINKLE GENIES:
Ada Faerie/Mad Cow Music Video
PEEVE DE JOUR: TV repair guy cancelled AGAIN...this time claiming a case of the flu...STILL NO "DAILY/COLBERT" fix. gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........
JOIE DE JOUR: Bianca Bob's "The Bunny Channel" ("where nothing bad ever happens!) promo clips:
QUICKTIME: http://bbobfilms.com/bcweb/bctvqt/bctvqt.htm
FLASH: http://bbobfilms.com/bcweb/bctvqt/bctvqt.htm
GOTH-TUME DE JOUR:
BTW - a nice piece on Clevo's infamous Nine Of Clubs on - Lost In The '80's
N.B.A.T.W.P.:
THE LOSERS LOUNGE TRIBUTE TO TALKING HEADS
OCTOBER 5, 6 and 7
at Joe's Pub
425 Lafayette Street
between East 4th and Astor Place
A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME event! The Losers will be SPEAKING IN TONGUES, CROSS EYED AND PAINLESS and BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE, at The Losers Lounge tribute to THE TALKING HEADS. Even if this is LIFE DURING WAR TIME, please DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, and definitely plan to STAY UP LATE. Because The Losers Lounge are guaranteed to bring you NOTHING BUT FLOWERS, MORE SONGS ABOUT BUILDINGS AND FOOD and three nights (only) of THE WILD WILD LIFE!!!
BUY TICKETS HERE!
ROSATI'S FLAVOR-OF-THE-DAY:
(Sept. 22nd)
English Toffee
(Coffee Custard w/ Heath)
cb...where are you?
OHIO
posted by CBeezwax at 9:27 AM
4 Comments:
Very cool Goth-tume today, I thought.
My first wife's barrister (attorney) stood up in court and told the judge that I was a liar and thus nothing I said could be relied on and that I had been involved in some plan to have her committed to a mental institution in order to get my son from her.
The Judge? She was a human being who didn't believe a word of it and awarded me custody of my son. They don't always win.
Chris-
Can you email me offline? My address is:
I want to tell you something.
dorseycc at earthlink.net
That's from Carolyn D, the above message!
this Goth-tume is my fav...
cb
Post a Comment
<< Home